Permission to Evolve: Rethinking Your Gamer Identity

Your hobbies are there to serve you, not the other way around.

So many people identify as “gamers,” but that term can mean many things. You could be a hardcore, sweat-dripping FPS player, a casual cozy gamer, or a platinum trophy completionist. All of these people use the same identifier: “gamer.” It’s how we recognize others who share our passion for video games. When someone labels themselves as a gamer, it becomes part of their personal identity.

We do this for many psychological reasons: a sense of belonging to a community, self-expression, a safe identity, self-esteem, or even as an expression of counterculture or subculture. The more we cement our self-identity in this category, the more it becomes intertwined with how we see ourselves.

photos by Quijanys on instagram

This has certainly been true for me. Over the past three years, I started a gaming Instagram and grew it to 11k followers. Before that, my online “gamer” footprint was minimal, known only to my friends. Now, it’s a significant part of who I am.

But here’s the thing: as humans, we have permission to change.

Sometimes that change is for the better, sometimes it’s neutral, and sometimes it’s a little messy. We might decide to focus more on our health, our education, or our family. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s part of human nature.

So, what happens to the gamer part of yourself when life shifts? It adapts. It shrinks. Or it blossoms. And if you need it, I’m giving you permission right here to let it change.

photos by Jorshielovesnintendo on instagram

You have permission to pause your gaming habit. Any hobby should serve a purpose: relaxation, competition, fun, creativity. It should provide a positive outlet. If it’s not doing that for you anymore, it’s okay to take a step back.

With the rise of the internet and social media, we have more ways than ever to connect with others about our hobbies. You can even create an entire social identity around them. But remember: you are a multifaceted person. You contain multitudes.

You are not just a gamer. You’re a pet owner. A partner. A son or daughter. A friend. You don’t have to box yourself in, metaphorically, for the sake of an algorithm or to fit into any particular group.

photos by mermaid_skillz on instagram

And most likely, the person putting the most pressure on your gamer identity is you.

You’re the one saying, “I should play this.” “I should play more often.” Those statements often come from within, not from others.

This article is here to remind you why you play video games in the first place.

So, ask yourself: Why do I play video games?

Your answer should spark a positive emotional response. If it doesn’t, ask yourself why that is. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your gamer identity and the role it plays in your life.

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My name is Mike Berger, and I write about gaming here on Substack! If you enjoyed this article or found it helpful, please hit that subscribe button. Coming soon: more in-depth articles and podcasts for paid subscribers. Let’s explore gaming—and the identities we build around it—together.